Every parent has an opinion on this, one way or the other. And practically every parent has been in this situation at least once. It's 2:34 AM. Your five-year-old daughter comes barging into your room unannounced. You can't see or hear her, as she's standing silently in the dark. Afraid it may be a ghost, you hold your breath and peer into the darkness for visual confirmation one way or the other. You can't see her, of course, until she's within arms length, frighteningly staring at you with a blank expression. At that point, a ghost would've scared you less.
The decision then becomes "Am I willing to sacrifice what could be a substantial chunk of crucial sleep time to train my daughter to only sleep in her own bed?" And for those reading this who aren't parents and have already decided that they'd put their foot down and wouldn't allow their kid into their bed, I urge you just once to set your alarm to go off at 2:30 AM. Then walk to the kitchen and pick up a carton of milk. Next, decide whether you want to take the carton of milk into bed with you or repeat incessantly (to the carton) for 90 minutes that milk belongs in the refrigerator, not in mommy and daddy's bed. I draw this comparison because trying to reason with a five-year-old is almost exactly like reasoning with a carton of milk.
If you haven't figured it out already, I opt for sleep over teaching an over-arching lesson to a three and one-year-old at ungodly hours of the night/morning. I mean, I've tried to resist. Sonia and I have told Antonio, "Only come to our bed if you're sick or had a bad dream." So, naturally, the very next time when he rolls in, I ask what happened, and he grumbles, "I had a nightmare and my belly hurts." Kid's no idiot. Within minutes, he's positioned himself horizontal, his feet in my face and his head on Sonia's stomach. At least one of us was comfortable.
Ultimately, we're trying to strike a balance with our sons. If we're both flat out exhausted, there's no struggle at all and Antonio's in between us before we even realize it.Then there are times when we stand our ground and usher him back to his own bed and are successful in thwarting his efforts. And hey, there are also times when I welcome the company! When Sonia was out of town, I heard creaks in the floor boards when the kids were both sleeping and I was sitting down. I practically begged Antonio to sleep with me! It reminded me a lot of my high school days. Except replace children with every girl I ever met.
Whatever you decide to do, though, I don't judge, and I suggest you don't either. If my sons are 16 and 14 and still cuddling up next to me at 3 AM, you are well within your right to look down your nose. But until then, I'm clinging to my sleep like Rose clung to the floating door in Titanic. For without it, I would die.
Thanks for reading, and share with fellow parents who'd enjoy.
-Joe DeProspero
jdeprospero@gmail.com
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